confessionsofaV: The Aquarian

Code Name: Aquarius

Location: Bookstore in Santa Monica/Crepe Café

Website: JDate.com

I had started a new job with a company I really liked and for the first time, in a long time, I felt more like myself and had decided it was time to give the game another go. Now that I was working 55 hours a week, the only way to really get out there was to do the thing that I swore a million times over not to do… which was join JDate. And than I pulled out my credit card and gave the people of my culture nearly 40 dollars of my hard earned money each month.

And then I met Aquarius.

One of the most unique, inscrutable, confusing, fun and creative characters I ever encountered- and later what I discovered, control freak, selfish and sometimes cruel, he was the first of the non-relationships, however hopeful first date, that I had while venturing online.

JDate while filled with people of similar culture, ambitious aims; it was a conducive website format that allowed actual communication and thoughts of potential, Yet, it was filled with the “Jew-y”: People who are all about being Jewish and that’s their life 24/7. What can I say, I’m liberal about faith and at the time I had no idea what the term “Ashkenazi” meant (It means Jewish people of Eastern European descent). I was also constantly being IM’d non-stop by men who weren’t my type.

I remember he IM’d me and I thought, “Oh Jesus, not another one.” And I almost refused it. And although he looked like a chronic multiple dater, especially standing next to a leggy female, rather than just of himself, I accepted.

And he opened with, “Where in Long Island does your cousin live?”

Immediately, I looked at his profile and I thought, uh-oh, Long Island? My ex-roommate was from Long Island and she was nuts! But then I saw the terms:

FILM

Yes.

BACHELOR’S DEGREE.

Yes.

AQUARIUS

Oh, what’s that?

Oh, how little I knew.

Well, let me tell you friends. The Aquarian is a magical creature who twists and turns your brain waves into insane shapes of seismic ovals, half circles into stars into butterflies that flit from synapse to synapse.

A brief introduction:

The Aquarian, also known as the Water Bearer, ruled by the planet Uranus is an air sign. The Aquarian is a fixed sign, and I mean fixed, one who likes it his way. This is the sign of a second childhood, the sign of the future, the sign of the verge between genius and insanity embodying intelligence, instinct and imagination all at the very same time. This is a detached gentleman who has a kind interest in humanity, in all people. He has a habit to make all that he encounters become his friend, with neither preference or disregard to the female sex, in all contexts, whether sexual or romantic. Thank you to Linda Goodman’s Love Signs for the informative insight, it was dead on!

Little did the Taurean female realize, aka down to earth control freak, ruled by the sensual planet Venus, exactly what she was in for when she was lured to the Barnes and Noble in Santa Monica to meet this thin black-haired stranger in the Philosophy section, no less, for bookstore and tea.

So when I noticed the little creases at the corner of his blue eyes, seeing the age in his seemingly youthful appearance, approaching me in the bookstore as I hid in the History section, for fear that I might be meeting, gulp, a loser, I became instantly relieved and then weary again as he opened his mouth, “History? You’re supposed to be over there!” pointing to “Philosophy”. To which I thought, ‘Uh-oh, control freak.’

But as he opened his arms to hug me warmly, and I opened mine, I felt it.

F**k. I like him.

And I already knew. I could feel the uneven tug. The uneven tug that I had felt in many childhood crushes of years past, me chasing boys and them not chasing me back.

F**k. He may not like me back.

So when tea turned into lunch, I wondered, ‘But is there something there? What is it?’

The Taurean, who really was the Taurean-Gemini, born on the Cusp of Energy, primarily the Taurus but with Gemini tendencies creating certain ties to the communication that Aquarian is so fond of, carefully observed him as he ordered a glass of water, no lemon and a string of provoking questions began to ensue, his little question game…

Suddenly, the ignorant Taurus began to be educated on the mysterious Aquarian, the man born on the Week of Acceptance, although she had yet to discover the true ways of his Astrological identity.

As the string of questions began to progress inquiring about “relationships”, “dates” a string of responses to this interlude began ringing in my head:

“Can I marry this guy?”

No.

“Could I love this guy?”

Not sure.

“Could I f**k him?”

Absolutely.

“How long do we give this guy?”

6 months, a year tops.

“And if it doesn’t work out…?”

We can always talk about writing.

My inner narrator was interrupted by the question of whether I “smoked pot”… to which I immediately buried my head in my hands, shaking my head, ‘No.’

As he replied jokingly, repeating the words in my brain, “This is never going to work.”

I smiled coyly, “Well, there’s always something to be learned.”

And boy, I really did not know what I was in for…