Ego vs. Superego vs. Id.

Code Name: Aquarius

Location: His place SM/Houston’s/Friend’s House

Website: J-Date.com

I was getting over it.

The date with III, although unsuccessful put a block between my emotions and Aquarius. The method of distraction, while difficult, worked. Thanks Valpal;)

Then… he im’d me at work.

AQUARIUS: Yo.

How are things?

Don’t respond. Don’t respond. Don’t respond. Don’t respond. Don’t respond.

AQUARIUS: You there?

Deep breaths… be strong V! Be strong…

INSIDE V’S PSYCHE:

Superego: Ignore him V. Listen to everyone who keeps telling you this guy is no bueno.

Ego: But what if he has to tell me something… importante?

Superego: Stop V. Stop it!

Id: What if this is his way of showing he cares? V if you want to respond to him, go for it!

Ego: Ohhhhhh myyyyy G----d! What if he DOES care? That is sooooo sweet.

Superego: You have got to be f&*kin’ kidding me. (Lights cigarette and buries head).

Click…Clack…Click…

V: Sorry.

It’s been really busy at work.

AQUARIUS: That’s cool.

V waits.

And waits.

M#$therf#$ker!

He did it again! He just wanted to see if I would respond! I immediately take him off my buddy list and delete his number from my phone. Than I delete him from my Myspace (again) and resign never to talk to him… again.

But does it stop there? Ha, of course not.

On my way to the bank I open and find (gasp) a text from him.

‘Dinner?’

INSIDE V’S PSYCHE:

Superego: V does this guy not know how to dial a phone? Is he even socially expansive in his sentences? Um no… delete.

Ego: Look I’m not even taking it seriously, I swear. I’m okay, I know what this guy is now. I’ll handle it.

Superego: Like… you handled the IM.

Id: Jesus, chill out, the girl’s a grown up. If she says she can handle it, she can.

Ego: That’s okay, I’m going to turn this around.

TEXT: I really can’t today, but I know I promised our lunch. Maybe Sunday?

Superego: How the f&*k is that turning it around?

Ego: Well if I totally negate him, that makes me a total b#$ch, which I don’t want to be. But if I push it back and have to go to work the next day, if we do meet up, it will prevent us from having sex.

Superego: But you end up paying for his lunch. Can you explain how this turns around?

Id: Ugh Superego, I can see you had it going on in high school. Look, she’s drawing the line of sex, so she can keep the power-

Superego: The Power of the what?

Ego: The Power of the P@#s-y

Superego: Alright. You think this is a game you can win?

Ego: I might. I’m in guy mode. I feel nothing.

Superego: Let’s see what you can do.

The next day while promoting the education program that I helped on the weekends, I really doubted and did not care if Aquarius contacted me. I was busy. I had a life. Than another text…

Ego: F#$k it. I’ll take care of that later.

Than… lo and behold…

My phone… rings. It’s him.

“This is V.”

“Hi V. Did you not know it was me?”

“Oh hey, sorry, I’m in the car. I didn’t forget about you.”

“I never said you did.”

“So…”

“Well, I was hoping it was going to be a nice day, I was going to say let’s go to the Botanical Gardens.”

Ego: Ohhhhhh myyyyyy G----d! Botanical Gardens?

Superego: We are so f#$ked.

“We have Botanical Gardens in LA?”

“Yeah in Pasadena. I’ve never been.”

“It’s raining. So what are we going to do?”

“Well, my friends might be doing something. Maybe we can grab dinner. Would you be be okay to come to my place and we’ll figure it out?”

“Ummm…”

Ego: What do I do?

Id: Say YES! Say YES!

“Yeah, sure.”

Ego: I’m not going to have sex with him. I’m not going to have sex with him. I’m not going to have sex with him…

Superego: (Throws back a shot) We are so f#$ked.

I approached this as casual as any guy. I showered. I put on a cool t-shirt and my jean skirt. I was late and didn’t care. I was emotionless.

Then I opened the door to his apartment.

There he was again. T-shirt. Glasses. Scruff. My kryptonite.

Ego: Whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Superego: Like you even f#$king listen. (Takes a drag)

Aquarius gave me the run down. His friends were torn between bowling and Boggle. In the meantime, he showed me YouTube videos of Justin Timberlake’s dance moves and than a video of himself experimenting with dance moves.

I then did something corny. So corny, that I’m afraid to tell you. I took all this as a sign that he wanted me to know him. I thought it was only fair that he knew me too.

I recited my slam poetry high school speech. Yes, I slammed my high school speech. It was good to anyone that knew me, but to this day, I wonder if people even understood a f#$king word I said.

No reaction from Aquarius.

Even my Southern Christian Ex said, “That was great!” But than again, that guy loved me and this one didn’t.

I then proceeded to show him photos of my own family via Facebook. 

Aquarius then showed me this baby video he did when his nephew was born. I didn’t understand why he was showing me any of this. But then when I saw a picture of him holding the baby, the female wires in my brain went awry.

Ego: Ohhhhh myyyyyy G---d! He likes children!

Note: This is not Aquarius. This is a hot guy with a baby. 

He than had me look up something on his computer, while I sat next to him on his couch. I could feel the electricity in the air, something drew us together but he would only respond to it when I negated it.

He than kissed my cheek. I laughed.

“You were supposed to turn your head.”

I turned my head but could only muster a nervous giggle, unable to look him in the eye.

“Uh-oh, this may lead to expectations.”

Superego: DON’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

He than moved in…

TO BE CONTINUED…