"This m*therf**ker was going down."

Codename: Aquarius
Location: Online
Website: JDate.com


Some time had passed since I had exchanged letters with Aquarius. We weren’t chit chatting on IM and I didn’t want to make a move. I was still browsing online but for some reason I was still stuck on the skinny filmmaker.

What’s a girl to do?

So one night on IM he finally broke the silence.

Aquarius: Hey

V: Hey

Aquarius: What are you up to?

V: Just at home.

Aquarius: Writing?

V: Haha, no, I should be.
Question, when did you want to meet up for our little workshop?

Aquarius: That’s not a very good question…
A good question would be…
Are you dating anyone?

V: Me or you?

Aquarius: Me.

V: Well, ARE you dating anyone?

Aquarius: Yes

My stomach sunk a little, but I toughened up, this was to be expected and I wasn’t going to let him see my disappointment.

V: Good for you.

Aquarius: It’s not serious… but I like her.

V: Then what’s up with e-mailing me and wanting me to come over and f--- you silly?!

Aquarius: I was joking.

V: No you weren’t.

Aquarius: But with this girl, we have not had sex, I can’t trust her. At least with you, you’re strait, I always respected that. I miss our crazy sexual chemistry.

V: What do you mean? How old is she?

Aquarius: 22

V: A young 22?

Aquarius: Yeah.

V: And likes going out a lot?

Aquarius: Yeah.

V: Blond?

Aquarius: Yup.

V: What school did she go to?

Aquarius: UCSB I think.

V: Party School.

Aquarius: Ugh I know.

V: Where she from?

Aquarius: The Valley.

V: You’re f—ked.

Aquarius: I know.

I could feel the former part of my sunken stomach flip around. I felt a bit of evil victory, he was getting exactly what he deserved, a bit of his own medicine; he was getting the exact treatment he had given me. And suddenly, I felt better.

And as if his ears were burning at my silent thoughts…

Aquarius: And she goes out on these dates and acts like she likes me.
With you I never lied, strait as an arrow I was.

B*llsh*t.

V: Well let me know when you’re free to talk writing.

Aquarius: I will.

So many mixed emotions… the pain that I had reopened from our previous history, the excitement of being able to talk to him and not being able to help wanting to be seduced by what quite frankly was a silly and strange boy-man, and finally the victory of him being burned by his female doppelganger. I was uncertain, but aware and oddly enough… I wanted to win the f**king game this time.

This m*therf**ker was going down.

Eerie... there's actually an Aquarius hotel in Laughlin http://www.theaquarius.com/

The Ex-Alike Factor

Codename:Alabama

Location: Aroma Café

Website: Nerve.com

I had never ventured on the Nerve.com personals before but a friend of mine had and since it was unexplored territory, I looked into it.

The guys on it were older, like 30s and 40s older and I wasn’t encountering as many 20-something peers in the Los Angeles area. Yet they seemed educated, well accomplished smart types, which is what I was after.

So while I wasn’t getting the crazy in-box action that I was getting on POF and JDate.com, Alabama finally reached out to me.

Now sometimes when you meet people you wonder why you gravitate toward their type. Alabama eerily reminded me of my Ex-Southern Christian BF who had been born in Kentucky. Same type of hair, same type of Southern earnestness and a tendency to desire more emotional investment (hey this is what I got off his profile- I’ve been online dating for awhile- I can pick up on this stuff!) He also reminded me of some of the men in my family, which for me is a subconscious warning sign… those men in my family are nuts.

Alabama was 10 years older than me. Now while I had went out with someone briefly (who I haven’t talked about yet but don’t worry- you’ll find out ;) who had that type of age gap, Alabama seemed nice over IM so I had to ask, could I ever really have a relationship with someone who was that much older? Socially, do we even speak the same language?

He was an illustrator in the movie biz and was in the know of some funny pop-culture stuff. He also had been dating divorcee mommy types- which I thought was intriguing enough to ask about- but Alabama was honorable enough not to kiss and tell.

So when I agreed to meet Alabama for coffee at Aroma café, I had that wonder- should I have talked with him on the phone first? It wouldn’t have mattered because honestly when I met Alabama, while he looked like his pictures on his profile, he actually looked A LOT older than his photos. Tooth gap, slight receding hairline, crow’s feet. He didn’t look 36 to me; he looked more like in his 40s.

Alabama was a nice guy. He even suggested grabbing dinner, but I already knew I didn’t have the energy and I already had an inkling that it might not work out. Although out of all my online dates, he was the most impressive in talent, he actually drew me a puppy in a field UPSIDE DOWN in a matter of 5 minutes.

I really tried to give this a shot. He had that Southern charm I like so much and was very sweet. Thoughts crossed my mind like: Can I introduce someone that looks like they’re in their 40s when I still look like I belong in high school… to my parents? Can I take Alabama to work parties? If this doesn’t turn into a relationship do I want to have wild and crazy sex with this guy?

The answer: No.

Such a catch-22 when you meet someone who might be able to give you the things you’re looking for and not be attracted to them. But when that person reminds you of your Ex maybe it’s just as well.

Thought of the Day

"Being your b*tch is not my idea of a good time." - V

The Rekindling

Codename: Aquarius

Location: Online

Website: JDate.com

Sometimes when a road is unexplored… you get an itch.

I had done everything that everyone had told me and it had been a month since I had last spoken to Aquarius. I had stopped communication. I had sex with someone else. I was hanging out with other people. I was focused on work. I was still pursuing and being pursued by guys online.

At this point… I just kept wondering… what if I had just relaxed a little bit… took it for what it was… played the little game… and had sex with Aquarius? Could it ever be possible to turn the game around and win exactly what I had been after all along: A connection?

But I couldn’t want that. No. I had to do what everyone said which was go in with no emotion. In other words… I had to go in with…

NO EXPECTATION.

If friendship was all I was going to get, then I could take that and be alright with it.

In other words, I just went in with denial. Full denial.

I knew the second I reopened communication it would be his game. But it was a chance I was willing to take.

Dear Aquarius,

So yes- the soup did go awry however, if you want to chat about story and writing let me know- it may be helpful- am trying to get on the ball on the writing and it helps me to talk with other creative people that I know, especially in working out story -- the "macro"- stringing out plot- ironically this actually has always been a difficult area for me. My strengths are with character dev./psych, plot justification and editing/organization. I have to really start a dialogue to get story ideas out. It also helps to reflect on ideas- to see if they're good or just plain lame or unworkable.
 
This also may actually be helpful for you as well-- don't know where you're at with your own personal projects- but I can help identify the crux or the core of things, help block out plans and clarify things. I think I have a handle on your POV with your work- so a dialogue may help. I'm usually pretty constructive.
So if this seems helpful and you're open to it- let me know, if not, no worries.

 
Thanks,

V

Usually, I play the chick role and panic and wonder if I will get a response back. Yet, somehow, I just had that feeling I would…

V,

You've decided to brave the rough seas of Aquarius-hood once again and open up
communication. Ha. Cool. Can it start by you coming over and f**king me silly. Sorry I AM kidding, just thought I'd rattle your brain for a second.

Well, I made a new video last week for a little contest we had at work and I have revisited this older writing piece. I do want to make the next thing and I would love for it to be a dialogue story piece rather than cutesy music driven video.

Sure, I'm down to talk about this. What's your project about and what writing program are you speaking of. Spec feature? What's the core idea?

This could be interesting.


Aquarius

P.S. Ironically it's Monday and you know what that means - half price Dolce, not saying we should meet up and talk writing and have cheap tasty food last minute (wait that's what we used to do) - but who knows, anything is possible.  


I responded by saying that I couldn’t meet up that day because my brother was in town (true) and that I would get back to him. If I was going to “brave the rough seas” I was going to do it on my terms… or so I hoped.

“Message just sent to me via OkCupid: omg!! have you ever seen someone and your heart goes pitter patter!! mine just did”
-This one is mine guys- Oh Okcupid when will you ever deliver me one of the good ones?

ooh... my, my when are you coming to sf miss,,soon i hope,,and hi. - "Missy" who received this from a 43 yr old online