The ONS

Codename: Clinger

Location: The Grove/His place

Website: Okcupid.com

So I was to follow his motorbike with my car. This ended up being ridiculous. He had no idea of his way around Los Angeles and was not giving me the cross streets of where he wanted me to go. So he had to follow me FIRST and then I followed him.

I think the fates were trying to tell me something when we both got caught in a sea of midnight cyclists in West Hollywood and I had to do a 3 point turn over and over again to get out of it, with him turning behind me… and since he had a helmet on and was on a bike, it was not as if I could call him and say, “Turn around.”

I couldn’t believe I was doing this. A part of me was saying, “This is stupid. Go home!”

But I didn’t. After working it out and getting to his place, I had my guard up. I wanted to make sure I was okay. He showed me his place, a two-story town house, not bad. I was petting his cat when he said, “Can I have you back now?”

Control Freak Clinger Insecure Flag. Get the f**k out of there V!

I went with him upstairs, looked at his book collection, very Sci-Fi. Giving it a chance.

Then he took me to his bedroom and we we’re making out again.

For the record, I give this guy high marks on his third base skills. He knew what the f**k he was doing and it was the main reason I consented to this charade. I was pretty sure  I had absolutely no serious interest in him. I tried to talk reason to him, “You sure you want to do this?”

All of a sudden I’m hearing, “Are you afraid if we have sex that I won’t call you, that’s not true. I like you.”

“Um okay.”

“So you want this to be a casual thing or a relationship thing?”

“Uh I don’t know yet.”

“Because if we keep doing this, I’m going to want to be your boyfriend.”

Ugh. Icky. Couldn’t believe it. Shoe was on the other foot for V and I didn’t want it! Then I finally got what everyone had been trying to tell me and why Aquarius did what he did.

Clinger pushed emotion where it was not wanted instead of giving me the space to decide on my own.

At one point while I tried to reason with him, he suggested we play a game where he was on one side of the bed listening and I was on the other and we both strip as I talk.

Blech. Pushy and weird.

I had sex with this guy (Yes, there was a condom) and as good as his skills were, the sex was not good. In fact, the second it was over, I went strait for my clothes.

“Well nice meeting you, I guess.” Clinger said.

I said, “Thanks for the evening.” Had him show me to my car and I jammed the hell out of there.

This was the stupidest thing I had ever done. I felt bad because I could tell this guy was sincere about liking me and I understood it, but pushy, clingy and insecure were all serious red flags and reason enough to never see him again.

The One Night Stand (ONS) was an experience. I can always say I had one and in an odd way, I felt somewhat less emotionally attached to Aquarius, which is why I guess guys mostly do this to move on.

Of course, Clinger texted me the next day to go to dinner. I texted him back that my brother was in town from the Air Force and couldn’t go. Which is true. He texted me back, “Uh I really like you and would like to see more of you. Let me know if you’re on the same page.”

I did not text back. I felt icky. Pure icky. Clingers, blech!

I did call him the next day and of course, he did not pick up and I left him a voicemail, a nice one explaining that I was not on the same page and that I was sorry.

And I never saw him again. Thank the baby Jesus.